Episode #274: Heidi Grant – How To Get People To Help You (Reinforcements)

Dr. Heidi Grant is a social psychologist who researches, writes, and speaks about the science of motivation.  In 2017, she was named one of Thinkers50’s most influential management thinkers globally. She is the Chief Science Officer for the Neuroleadership Institute, Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at the Columbia University, and author of the best-selling books:

No One Understands You and What To Do About It, Succeed: How We Can All Reach Our Goals, Nine Things Successful People Do DifferentlyFocus: Use Different Ways of Seeing The World for Success and Influence (co-written with E. Tory Higgins), and The 8 Motivational Challenges. Her latest book is titled, Reinforcements.

Dr. Grant is also a contributor to the Harvard Business Review, 99uFast CompanyWSJ.comForbesThe Huffington Post, and Psychology Today.

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“It’s not about being good.  It’s about being better.  Be in a constant state of continuous improvement.”

Show Notes:

  • Commonalities of sustaining excellence:
    • “All management is change management”
    • “What’s made you successful in the past may not be the case in the future.”
    • “How can I learn to be a better leader?’
    • “A constant state of continuous improvement”
    • “You’ve never arrived.”
  • “It’ not about being good.  It’s about being better.”
  • “Focus on getting better, rather than being good.”
  • Growth mindset helps you find enjoyment in what you do
  • “Focus on what you will do, not what you won’t”
  • Willpower — Need to be specific.  Get to a level of specificiaty
  • Make steady progress
    • “Have realistic optimism. I will succeed, but it will be hard.”
  • How to define success?
    • Intrinsic vs extrinsic goals:
      • A connected-ness to other people
      • Autonomy – Do what feels authentic
      • Being effective – Inherently get satisfaction by “I’m making things by making things happen in the world”
      • “Human beings are wired to to want to feel effective” — It creates lasting happiness
  • Balance – Fundamental things stand in our way.  “We all have issues with not being great at everything.”
  • Why don’t we ask others for help when we need it?  The Milgrim subway experiement
  • What does a helper need from you?
    • Must ask and help the helper be successful
  • Why we need to eliminate the phrase “Can I pick your brain?”
    • Just say what you want.  Be direct.
    • Send questions in advance.  Create opportunities for helpers to be effective
  • “When you ask someone for help, you’re giving them the opportunity to feel amazing”
  • Reinforcements – Extra personnel sent to increase the strength of an army or similar force –> Something that makes a behavior more likely
  • Why joining The Learning Leader Circle is a good idea
  • Use the “Get To Know You Document

“When you ask someone for help, you’re giving them the opportunity to feel amazing.”

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Episode 200: Keith Hawk & AJ Hawk — Showing Up, Doing The Work, Earning Trust, Helping Others, Winning The Super Bowl, Celebrating #200

Episode 234: Jocko Willink — Why Discipline Equals Freedom