The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

Episode #289: Philip McKernan – Relationships Move At The Speed Of Vulnerability

Show Notes:

  • Commonalities of sustaining excellence:
    • Moments where they feel like a fraud, question themselves.  They are more comfortable within those moments
      • This allows them to bounce back quicker
    • They seek and attract things that are outside of their normal comfort zone
    • The Picasso example — The courage to face the failure and own up to it
  • “Vulnerability is the only way to truly deepen relationships”
    • “When you say, “I don’t know,” it helps others feel empowered to help”
  • Philip felt worthless at age 14. He felt isolated and alone, a burden to try and fit in.  “That pain had a purpose.”
    • How to go from an isolated and alone 14 year old to a keynote speaker who moves people to tears?
  • How to deal with skeptics?
    • “That’s okay. But, I would address it now. Couples typically wait five years too long to get counseling.  Do it now.”
  • What do you do? “I create environments for people to go deep. I meet them where they’re at.”
  • The story of starting this business on the side in an Irish pub.
    • “The hardest time of my life was at the beginning, but I didn’t allow lack of money to impact what I did.”
    • “What are you willing to give up to do what you want?”
    • “I stopped making the journey about me… It was about them.”
  • Why Philip will not send his kids to college…
    • “Spend time learning. You need to understand who you are. A classroom is not built on how to get to know who you are.”
  • The “Planes, Trains, & Automobiles” test:
    • Kevin Bacon started his career with no lines… But kept working. “Be willing to put in the work. Run for the cab.”
  • Is “follow your passion good advice?”
    • “Yes and no.  There is a big difference between excitement and passion.  I believe we all have gifts and so many people use their talents.”
    • “For you, sales was a talent, but your gift is connecting with people. To lift them, to help them, to build confidence.”
    • “We are all leaders but a lot of people lead from an inauthentic space. It’s not what we do, it’s how we do it.”
  • What is One Last Talk?
    • “If you had 15 minutes left to live to share your message, what would you say? You need to share with the world to free yourself.”
    • The process creates freedom.  People want to connect.  This is “team deepening.”
  • Why write a book?
    • “Everyone has the capacity to make an impact. I believe all of us carry some demons.”
    • “It’s like five years of therapy in one book.” “The book is by me, but it’s not for me.  I will never sign it.”
  • “One of the greatest burdens a child can bare is the unlived life of their parents.”

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