Episode 211: Vanessa Van Edwards – How To Be Instantly Irresistible

Subscribe on iTunes  or Stitcher Radio

“Vulnerability is sexy.  There is science to prove it.”

Show Notes:

  • Sustained Excellence = Being a people reader (not a mind reader)
    • Try to listen to others more than anyone else
    • Get to KNOW the person
    • 3 Skills
      • Decoding – Leaders who are able to read others accurately
      • Encoding – Your ability to send accurate signals to others… What can I do to excite others?
      • Self-Regulation
  • The art/science of inspiring others
  • We decide if someone is a winner or a loser… Do they feel pride or shame? If we feel pride, we take up more space, shame = less space
  • Charisma — How to be instantly irresistible?
  • The most charismatic people
    • High Warmth
    • High Competence
    • Must have both
    • Lucille Ball is a great example. I Love Lucy
  • Do you need high levels of charisma to be an effective leader?
    • You do not need to be extroverted… Or a booming leader
    • Quiet, contemplative types can be phenomenal leaders
  • How to handle a room with a lot of people networking if you’re an introvert?
    • Your key in this room is to try and create 1 on 1 conversations. Play to your strengths
    • Don’t stand in the center of the room
    • Stand at a high bar table
    • Low light areas
  • Conversation hacks:
    • Sparks – The brain looks for hits, not misses
    • “Anything good happen lately?
    • “Working on anything exciting?”
  • Ask soft yes/no questions…
    • “A really skilled decoder is a better listener than anyone else”
  • “Vulnerability is sexy.  There is science to prove it.”
  • “Relatability comes down to ties.” — Saying “Oh, me too” creates a tie with that person.
    • “You want this, I want this…” type speeches
  • The 7 micro-expressions

“The most charismatic people have: high warmth and high competence.”


Social Media:

More Learning:

Episode 078: Kat Cole – From Hooters Waitress To President of Cinnabon

Episode 071: NateBoyer – Green Beret, Texas Football, The NFL

Episode 179: How To Sustain Excellence – The Best Answers From 178 Questions

Episode 107: Simon Sinek – Leadership: It Starts With Why

The Learning Leader Show is supported by Rhone.  Use the code “Hawk” for 15% off.  Rhone… premium activewear engineered with principle, performance and progress for the modern man.  Rhone builds clothing around 3 main tenants: Cutting-edge Performance, Premium Comfort, and Simplistic Style.

Leave A Comment