Episode 211: Vanessa Van Edwards – How To Be Instantly Irresistible
Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher Radio
“Vulnerability is sexy. There is science to prove it.”
Show Notes:
- Sustained Excellence = Being a people reader (not a mind reader)
- Try to listen to others more than anyone else
- Get to KNOW the person
- 3 Skills
- Decoding – Leaders who are able to read others accurately
- Encoding – Your ability to send accurate signals to others… What can I do to excite others?
- Self-Regulation
- The art/science of inspiring others
- We decide if someone is a winner or a loser… Do they feel pride or shame? If we feel pride, we take up more space, shame = less space
- Charisma — How to be instantly irresistible?
- The most charismatic people
- High Warmth
- High Competence
- Must have both
- Lucille Ball is a great example. I Love Lucy
- Do you need high levels of charisma to be an effective leader?
- You do not need to be extroverted… Or a booming leader
- Quiet, contemplative types can be phenomenal leaders
- How to handle a room with a lot of people networking if you’re an introvert?
- Your key in this room is to try and create 1 on 1 conversations. Play to your strengths
- Don’t stand in the center of the room
- Stand at a high bar table
- Low light areas
- Conversation hacks:
- Sparks – The brain looks for hits, not misses
- “Anything good happen lately?
- “Working on anything exciting?”
- Ask soft yes/no questions…
- “A really skilled decoder is a better listener than anyone else”
- “Vulnerability is sexy. There is science to prove it.”
- “Relatability comes down to ties.” — Saying “Oh, me too” creates a tie with that person.
- “You want this, I want this…” type speeches
- The 7 micro-expressions
“The most charismatic people have: high warmth and high competence.”
Social Media:
More Learning:
Episode 078: Kat Cole – From Hooters Waitress To President of Cinnabon
Episode 071: NateBoyer – Green Beret, Texas Football, The NFL
Episode 179: How To Sustain Excellence – The Best Answers From 178 Questions
Episode 107: Simon Sinek – Leadership: It Starts With Why
The Learning Leader Show is supported by Rhone. Use the code “Hawk” for 15% off. Rhone… premium activewear engineered with principle, performance and progress for the modern man. Rhone builds clothing around 3 main tenants: Cutting-edge Performance, Premium Comfort, and Simplistic Style.
Leave A Comment