“A book,” as Navy SEAL Chris Fussel says, “is more than words on paper. It’s a complex project between people.” My podcast, The Learning Leader Show is an ongoing complex project between people. My friend Jayson Gaignard likes to say, “Nobody is self-made. We are all community-made.” I am proud of the community of learning leaders we’ve built over the past decade and love that we’ve spent so much time learning together. Recently, I sat down to document some of the key learnings I’ve picked up from podcast guests in 2024. I hope you find it useful.

Say What’s True – When world-class stand-up comedian Nikki Glaser is bombing on stage, she has a great method to reset. “Just say what’s true. Everyone is putting on a mask. Everyone is trying to present in a different way. If you just say what’s true, it’s the funniest.”  

Make the ASK – Ariel Helwani knocked on the door of a senior executive at ESPN. The executive didn’t even know who Ariel was. And he asked to be a sideline reporter at basketball games. The senior exec said nobody had ever done that in 20 years. If you want something, ASK for it. Steve Jobs said the difference between the people who dream about stuff and the people who make it happen is the willingness to ask. You gotta ask. And a year later, Ariel was on the baseline of a Philadelphia 76ers game working as a reporter in the NBA. You gotta have the courage to ask. Noah Kagan learned the same lesson from his dad who sold door-to-door. Noah told me, “Rejection is a test if you really want something. The upside of asking is unlimited. People are afraid of asking. The people who make it happen are willing to ask, be rejected, and keep going.” He sets rejection goals. The more you’re willing to be rejected, the greater upside you’re creating for yourself. Scott Galloway met his wife at the Raleigh Hotel pool in Miami, FL. He saw her from a distance and made a promise that he wouldn’t leave the pool without introducing himself to her first.  “To do anything of significance in your life, you must take an uncomfortable risk.” Scott is now married to the woman he met at the pool that day. Together, they have two sons. One of them has the middle name, Raleigh.  

Take Ownership – Jim Dethmer has this great way of taking complete responsibility for his life. Instead of playing the role of being a victim, he chooses to be responsible for all of it. This is how he frames it: “I commit to taking full responsibility for the circumstances of my life, and my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. I commit to supporting others to take full responsibility for their lives. I have to = Victim mindset. I choose to = Ownership mindset. To me = At the effect of other things. Outside my locus of control. By me = Inside. I am the cause of the experience. Radical responsibility. How am I causing the experience? Poker Hall of Famer, Daniel Negreanu, told me something similar… “There’s a difference between a victim and an owner mentality. Victims will complain, give up, sulk, be passive-aggressive, or procrastinate. Owners will seek solutions, take action, or ask for help. Victims will focus on things they cannot control, while owners will focus on things they can control.”

Create Alive-Ness:  Also from Jim Dethmer… Do an energy audit: Ask: What is it that creates the most “alive-ness” in you? Look at your calendar for the last week. What events make your energy go up, stay neutral, or go down? Maximize for people and events that make your energy go up. “Populate your life with what you love.”Are you willing to be fully alive? What are you willing to risk to make that happen? 

Life’s Work: “If you had to boil your life’s work down to just one sentence you could leave behind, what would it say?” This is a useful question for us to ask ourselves to gain clarity on our purpose and what we were put here to do. What is your life’s work? On one of Bill Ury’s hikes with Jim Collins in Boulder, Colorado, he asked, “When did you first discover your interest in and instinct for what became your life’s work?” This is a question that’s worth asking. What is your life’s work? What are you doing to ensure your one sentence is something you’re proud of?

Be Grateful: Hall of Fame coach Sherri Coale said, You can’t roll up your sleeves and clench your fists at the same time. Living with gratitude is about recognizing and appreciating what you have. This will change the lens in which you view the world. And on that same episode, Geron Stokes told a story about his time visiting with Oklahoma State’s football coach, Mike Gundy. Coach Gundy said to his staff as they were getting ready for practice, “I can’t believe they pay us to do this.” 

Become More Valuable: When Tony Robbins was working to build a career, his mentor Jim Rohn, told him, “Your job is to become more valuable. We are all equal as souls, but not equal in the marketplace. If you want things to get better, you’ve got to get better.” When I asked Tony about the commonalities of leaders in his life who have sustained excellence, he told me about Steph Curry’s practice habits. “You’re rewarded in public for what you practice in private. Steph Curry has taken hundreds of thousands more practice shots than game ones. He’s rewarded in public for what he does in private. The commonality around excellent people is they find something they care about more than themselves, they have a hunger for it, and they work amazingly hard at it. “

GO After What You Want: When Simple Modern CEO, Mike Beckham was in college, he wanted to take a class taught by the legendary professor Rufus Fears. But the instant Professor Fears’ classes were posted, they got full. There was another option… At the University of Oklahoma, you can get a “pink slip” and take a class that’s already full. So, Mike showed up to Professor Fears first day of class in hopes of earning a pink slip. He started the lecture… “If you are here trying to get a pink slip, I can tell you that the class is full, and there will be no pink slips given.” Mike did not let that stop him. He stayed after class and talked with Professor Fears. He then went to his office and talked with him some more. He shared his passion for the topic and the professor and pushed hard to get a pink slip. And eventually, he earned entry to his class. It’s a great lesson that we need to be proactive and take initiative. We need to go after what we want.

Add Texture to Time: Scott Belsky told me, “You’re only able to recollect experiences with enough friction to add texture to time as it passes. Time spent doing the unexpected and/or being challenged is time with texture. Ultimately, in our dying breath, the more experiences in our lives with texture, the more of our lives we will actually remember and the longer we will feel we have lived. What adds texture to time? A challenge.

Show, Don’t Tell: Also from Scott Belsky… “A prototype is worth a hundred meetings, and almost all meetings that aren’t grounded with a prototype are a waste of time or worse. A prototype immediately surfaces gaps in logic or business concerns. It is the fastest way to drive alignment. A prototype prompts decisiveness. It’s a hot knife through the butter of bureaucracy.”

Living or Dying: “You’re either part of the living or part of the dying.” Scott learned this from his Aunt Arlis Aron. She fought stage 4 cancer for 15 years. She always focused on living. She worked in her garden, thought about the future, made great breakfasts, planned trips, and traveled. “Decide if you want to live less or live more.”

Inner or Outer Scoreboard? Warren Buffett once said, “The big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an Inner Scorecard or an Outer Scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an Inner Scorecard.” My friend/mentor/co-author, Brook Cupps, has done an incredible job living by an internal scorecard. And that’s what our book, The Score That Matters is all about… The inner scoreboard is about eliminating comparison with others and living in alignment with what’s most important to you: your values and the behaviors to match those values. If you want to stop comparing yourself to others, establish YOUR core values, and live in alignment with them (and I believe you should), then I think our book, The Score That Matters, will be useful for you. I had a similar conversation with Arthur Brooks (author of From Strength to Strength and best friend/co-author of Oprah Winfrey). He said “Intrinsic motivation comes from an internal desire to accomplish a goal, while extrinsic motivation comes from external rewards and praise. And, “Misery comes from excessive auto-focus. Misery comes from thinking about yourself too much and not enough about helping others.”

Set High Standards: David Perell has taught thousands of people from 70+ countries how to become better writers. And one area that he’s hyper-focused on is setting high standards for everyone he works with. “It’s your job to have the highest quality standards of anybody you work with. Every day, you’ll face pressure to lower them. Don’t do it. If you can set a high standard and maintain it, and raise it, you’ll do very well for yourself.”

Your 100 shots: Lacrosse legend, Paul Rabil had a coach who spoke to a group of players at his high school. He said, “I can guarantee you will earn a college scholarship if you do this one thing.” Take one hundred shots a day. With no exceptions. No days off. If you don’t feel well, get your 100 shots. It’s Christmas? Get your 100 shots. Don’t have a goal to shoot on, use a wall. Nothing could get in the way. “You can’t miss a day,” the coach said. So Paul didn’t miss a day. Every single day from high school through his professional career–for twenty years. Everywhere he went, he found a wall to throw against, a goal to shoot on. One hundred shots a day, no exception.

You never know who is watching: Jeff Bezos sat in the front row at one of Jason Fried’s keynotes and was so impressed that he asked to invest in his company. When you have the guts to put your thoughts and beliefs out into the world, it can work as a magnetic effect to attract people to you. Also, it was refreshing to hear Jason talk about one of the core qualities he loves most about Jeff: he is overwhelmingly optimistic. The world is built by optimists.

Make Your Boss Look Good: Former Barstool Sports CEO, Erika Ayers Badan shared useful career advice when she was on the podcast. She told me, “Know what your company is paying you to do. And the better you make your boss look, the better it will be for you. Find problems and clear the path for your boss. Make their life easier. Make them look good. That’s the role when you have a boss.”

YOU are the Culture Carrier: Tara Viswanathan (CEO of Rupa) and I talked a lot about building the type of company culture where people are inspired to do great work. She said “Fun and culture cannot be outsourced. You cannot delegate “culture carriers.” You (the leader) are the ultimate culture carrier. It has to come from you.” Tara also had another piece of advice for those in the fundraising world (this has been attributed to a lot of people, but it was the first time I’d heard it in a while), “Ask for money, get advice. Ask for advice, get money twice.”

Pay the Taxes of Life Gladly: I’ve had Ryan Holiday on The Learning Leader Show more than any other guest (9 times!). For the most recent conversation, I wanted it to be in person. Ryan offered to host me in his Daily Stoic studio in Bastrop, Texas. Was it (much) more time-consuming to drive to the airport, fly to Austin, drive to Bastrop (get there early), and then eventually have the conversation? Of course, it was. But, I gladly paid that tax to have that in-person, relationship-building moment with one of my literary heroes. I’ll always choose to pay that tax gladly. As Ryan said when we were together in his studio, “It’s not just from the government. Annoying people are a tax on being outside your house. Delays are a tax on travel. Haters are a tax on having a YouTube channel. There’s a tax on everything in life. You can whine. Or you can pay them gladly.”

Aviate, Navigate, Communicate: Kim “Killer Chick” Campbell was initially rejected by the United States Air Force Academy. In response, instead of quitting and moving on, she wrote a letter to them every week stating why they should accept her… Which they eventually did. After becoming an A10 Warthog pilot, Kim was flying in combat and got hit. Her plane almost fell apart in the sky. She leaned on her training to get her badly damaged plane back from across enemy territory and fortunately safely landed on base. She said she used “Aviate, Navigate, Communicate” from her training to help her get through one of the most trying times of her life. She said, “Aviate, navigate, communicate” is a fundamental principle in aviation that pilots learn early in flight training. It’s a priority order that helps pilots stay focused and in control, even when they’re under pressure or distracted: Aviate: Keep the plane flying. Navigate: Figure out where you are and where you’re going. Communicate: Talk to air traffic control and your teammates as needed.

Set High Expectations for Others: Anne Mahlum founded the non-profit Back on My Feet and grew it into a national organization. She then founded and led Solid Core from 1 location to 130 and sold last year for $90 million. In her early days running Back on My Feet, Anne understood the power of showing others that you believe in them. She told me, “I looked at these guys (homeless) and demanded nothing but pure excellence from them. And it was almost as if they were waiting for someone to do that.” Set high expectations for people. Believe in them. Care for them. Support them. Love them. And watch what happens. This is leadership. Economics professor, Tyler Cowen has a similar belief. He calls it The high-return activity of raising others’ aspirations. He encouraged someone who was going for an MBA to get a PhD. “At critical moments in time, you can raise the aspirations of other people significantly, especially when they are relatively young, simply by suggesting they do something better or more ambitious than what they might have in mind.  It costs you relatively little to do this, but the benefit to them, and to the broader world, may be enormous.”

Get Creative: On episode 600, my dad (Pistol) shared a story about the time when his company hired a new CEO and that CEO wanted to bring his own head of sales into the company. Usually, this means that the current head of sales (my dad) would be fired to make way for the new person. My dad wasn’t willing to accept that and asked the CEO out to breakfast. Instead of complaining and leaving the company, Pistol got creative and offered a new idea and a great way to leverage all the skills and knowledge he developed from being at the company for so long. It is amazingly rare for the head of sales to stay at a company after he’s been replaced. But he thrived in the role and made the company better.

Be a Doer: Sharon McMahon has become America’s favorite Government teacher. She’s studied people in history who have made America what it is and shares their stories in a compelling and entertaining way. While talking to her, we focused on the actions of the people who’ve built the country. “The best Americans are not the critics, they are the doers. They are the people who went for broke when everyone else yelled to turn back. They are those who know that one becomes great because of who they lift up, not who they put down.” And Andrew Huberman has said something similar. “I’ve never observed anyone, regardless of field, achieve lasting prominence while voicing rancor or focusing much on the failings of others. Create and share, support others, and enjoy. Givers and creators always prevail.”

Luck is not real: Anthony Pompliano – “Luck is something we conjure in our minds to grapple with the consequences of whatever life may throw our way. Luck is a physiological concept. It’s determined by how we view a situation. Academic studies show that you can become luckier simply by telling yourself that you are lucky.” Pessimists sound smart, but optimists change the world. Believe in yourself. Have agency. Strive to make something happen. Also from Pomp: Surround yourself with compounders and fire your boring friends– Being around other ambitious people who are willing to push you will make you better. Strike the balance between being loyal to longtime friends, and doing anything for them, but spending the bulk of your time around people who will push your edges and make you think bigger.

Raise Expectations for the People You Love: Meg Meeker – “One of the best things fathers can do is raise their daughters’ expectations of life. That will directly affect how your daughter talks, how she dresses, how well she does in school, and even what sports or musical instruments she chooses to play. You can help her set goals, help her define a higher purpose for her life, and as a result, her self-esteem will skyrocket. And it will bring you closer, because she’ll recognize you as a leader and an ally, helping her to chart a better course.”

Worthy of Remark: During a conversation with James Clear before his book launch, he talked about his desire to create word-of-mouth marketing for his upcoming book, Atomic Habits. He shared this Seth Godin quote as inspiration, “If you want word of mouth, you have to create something remarkable, and that means it’s worthy of remark.” Atomic Habits has sold more than 15 million copies (and counting) and has become one of the most referred books of all time.