Episode #287: Robert Greene (Part 1) – 5 Strategies For Becoming A Master Persuader

Robert Greene is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, and Mastery.

In his sixth book, The Laws of Human Nature, he turns to the most important subject of all – understanding people’s drives and motivations, even when they are unconscious of them themselves. Drawing from the ideas and examples of Pericles, Queen Elizabeth I, Martin Luther King Jr, and many others, Greene teaches us how to detach ourselves from our own emotions and master self-control. He shows how to develop the empathy that leads to insight, how to look behind people’s masks, and how to resist conformity to develop your singular sense of purpose.

In addition to having a strong following within the business world and a deep following in Washington, DC, Greene’s books are hailed by everyone from war historians to the biggest musicians in the industry (including Jay-Z, Drake, and 50 Cent).

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“A really good leader is able to adapt, change, and take feedback.”

Show Notes:

  • Commonalities of sustaining excellence:
    • Ability to learn from experience and adapt
    • Open to being challenged, able to look at self and be willing to change
    • “A really good leader is able to adapt, change, and take feedback”
    • Inner core of strength, “bend but don’t break”
    • Vision – A “third eye.” “Guides us to the larger picture.” Not trapped in “tactical hell.” A leader has a sense of where he/she is taking the group
    • Set the right tone – Don’t yell, be a bully. Lead by example with attitude and work ethic. Lead from the front.
    • Create the esprit de corps
  • A leader must learn how to measure someone’s character when making decisions who to work with
  • Great leaders are empathetic. They understand people at a deeper level.  Their character, their core. They understand weak and strong characters
  • How do you not get fooled in the interview process?
    • Main sources of mistakes comes from judging on appearances, how they look, and their resume.  You must look deeper.  People wear masks.  Must get beyond the masks.  Get the candidate outside of the normal interview process.  Go out to lunch/dinner. Take them to happy hour with the team.  Get them to let their guard down so you learn about them as a real person.
    • Ask others who know them about their true character.  Do your research. Learn as much as possible about them from other people.
  • How to deal with toxic people?
    • Narcissists don’t typically display it right away. A lot of them are charming and charismatic. Look at non-verbals, look for patterns of behavior.
    • People reveal who they are in tiny details – How they drive a car, how they treat a hostess, how they treat the janitor, how they treat people who will never be able to help them.
  • The Laws of Human Nature:
    • Studying people… Social intelligence — Having a hunger for this knowledge
  • “Your whole life is dependent on you handle people.”
  • There are 18 general patterns of human nature — These forces govern our behavior
  • “In reading a lot about primates, chimps are very social. They have envy. This was a terrible problem among hunter/gatherers.
  • How to become a master persuader:
    • Be a better listener
      • People are absorbed in themselves. Be obsessed with deep, quality listening.  Treat that person as a treasure chest to explore. Create genuine excitement about learning from them. Take today and listen deeply to your spouse
      • Infect people with proper mood
        • We respond in non verbal ways. We must be aware of that. Be calm, happy, and secure. “It is your duty as a leader to be in a good mood” – “You are the emotional thermostat for your team”
      • Confirm their self opinion – People you deal with have an opinion about themselves. They think of themselves as intelligent.  People need to feel smart and autonomous (“they do what they want to do”). People are good. Can’t challenge or insult their intelligence if you want to persuade. Cannot insult their sense of autonomy. Understand what they’re going through. Have empathy.
      • Allay their insecurities – Help them not feel so bad about what they’re insecure about
      • Use people’s resistance against them – People are stubborn (story of the teenage suspended and how the parent used that anger as a way to help the student study, learn, and get good grades)
  • Learn how to become the zen master
  • Why joining The Learning Leader Circle is a good idea
  • Use the “Get To Know You Document“

“Your whole life is dependent upon how you handle people.”

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Episode 078: Kat Cole – From Hooters Waitress To President of Cinnabon

Episode 216: Jim Collins — How To Go From Good To Great

Episode 200: Keith Hawk & AJ Hawk — Showing Up, Doing The Work, Earning Trust, Helping Others, Winning The Super Bowl, Celebrating #200

Episode 234: Jocko Willink — Why Discipline Equals Freedom